so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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