I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
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