small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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