hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
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