you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Randomize
