I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
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