so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
