Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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