the new term for farting is butt boxing.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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