omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
