I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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