I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
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