i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Randomize
