are you still at the devil's house?
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
