remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
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