oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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