I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
