we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
