Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
