there was a trapeze. enough said
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize