yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
