i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
