ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
Randomize
