Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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