I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
operation harelip BJ is a go
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Randomize
