btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
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