so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Im in a bar and I just invented a scrabble drinking game. People are cheering. It's like the universe has aligned itself.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
