you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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