im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Sext me about skeletons
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Randomize