when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
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