We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
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