Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
