Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
