He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
Randomize
