dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
i wish my penis had a tongue
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm really hoping to find some quality strange ass tonight while at my court appearance.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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