windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
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