So.. my mom just told me she hasn't gotten laid in 7 years... I'm really disturbed.. at the same time... At least now I know why shes so damn cranky all the damn time
Please don't tell me you're asking me to have sex with your mother.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Randomize
