So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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