people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
