She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
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