So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
