Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
