She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
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