i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
