You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
so let's talk penis.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
