dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
Naked Twister starts at high noon
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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