I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
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