I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
tell me about the eggs
Randomize