is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
