Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Randomize
