I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
