ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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