I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
