i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
Randomize
