if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Randomize
