We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
