Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
His hands were made for my vagina.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
