You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
