woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
