Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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