You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Can I color on your dick again?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
