i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
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