That's when you crack a 10am beer
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
