my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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